Out of Character Surprising Truths about the Liar, Cheat, Sinner (and Saint) Lurking in All of Us

[Page 3] Copyright © 2011 by David DeSteno and Piercarlo Valdesolo All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Crown Archetype, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York. www.crownpublishing.com Crown Archetype with colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data DeSteno, David. Out of character : surprising truths about the liar, cheat, sinner (and saint) lurking in all of us / David DeSteno & Piercarlo Valdesolo.—1st ed. p. cm. 1. Character. 2. Conduct of life—Psychological aspects. I. Valdesolo, Piercarlo. II. Title. BF818.D43 2011 155.2—dc22 2010050275 eISBN: 978-0-307-71777-1 v3.1 [Page 4] To our wives, Amy and Liz [Page 5] Contents Cover Title Page Copyright Dedication 1 / S AINTS AND S INNERS The mental battle that defines our character 2 / H YPOCRISY VS . M ORALITY Why no one should throw stones 3 / S OUL M ATE OR P LAYMATE? What makes Mr. or Ms. Right go wrong 4 / F ROM P RIDE TO H UBRIS The deadliest of the seven sins? 5 / C OMPASSIONATE OR C RUEL? Looking into the mirror of the human soul 6 / F AIRNESS AND T RUST The surprising elasticity of the Golden Rule 7 / P LAYING I T S AFE VS . T AKING A G AMBLE Risk, reward, and ruin 8 / T OLERANCE VS . B IGOTRY Why sometimes we just can’t help hating “them” [Page 6] 9 / T RUE C OLORS? Understanding and managing the spectrum of character Acknowledgments Notes Guide to the Lab About the Authors [Page 7] 1 / S S [Page 8] M 1